Am i in love? or do i just wish i was?

I have been with my partner for over a year now and i'm wondering if i do really love him or if i am just in love with the idea of being in love. i have never had sweaty palms or fire works but i do get the occasional butterfly. i enjoy spending time with him and i get jealous when he makes joking comments about other girls even celebrities. i have never felt good enough for him but have always had low self esteem. we have been through a lot together and not being funny but it has been more than most go through in a life time maybe we have been through too much too soon. i never get the feelings that i have read about in books but im not sure if book feelings are fictional. my glass does feel half full when he is around as opposed to the half empty glass when he is away. the sex is amazing but i know that is nothing to do with love. he is very good looking but if it hadn't have been for his dog we never would have met because i wouldn't have looked twice. i can never seem to have a clear head when i am thinking about him. can someone please make sense of my thoughts.